Plasma. What is it Good For?

So here's the deal. I have been looking for a job to no avail. I have applied at countless venues. I have filled out WHO KNOWS how many applications, and I have pestered enough small business owners to earn my own "if this girl comes in I'm not here" warning sign. So needless to say I've been a little short on cash as of late. Well come to find out we have a plasma donation center here in Rexburg and for 50 dollars a week you can sell your plasma twice during a 7 day period. Well it sounded to me like they were basically handing out money for pretty much free. Sign me up right?! So it has now been a couple of weeks since I started selling my plasma and let me tell you...it's actually not been too bad. The first time mind you was in one word...Hell. I went in the first time. They make you go through a watered down physical....I had to pee in a cup. It was as unpleasant as it sounds. So I passed my physical with flying colors basically. It was kind of super awkward because the people that work there aren't a whole lot older than me...and they ask some pretty up close and personal questions that you don't typically announce to the general public. Anyway I get my finger all pricked (by the way that is arguably the worst part of donating plasma, you have to get your finger pricked each time so they can analyze your plasma and it never ceases to hurt like mad!) and then I go into this large sized room that is filled wall to wall with back to back reclining beds and well...it's super science-fictiony. They sit you down at a station and shove this giant needle into your arm (probably the circumference of a toothpick at the middle, maybe a little bit bigger) So obviously it stings a little, then you sit there for about 45-60 minutes and the machine takes your blood, filters out the plasma, puts your blood back into you and retains your plasma in a cylindrical bottle. Have you ever seen plasma? I guess for some reason I thought it would look super cool. Like a funky cool color, or something...maybe it was a kind of gossamer liquid. I couldn't have been more wrong. It is probably the nastiest looking liquid I've ever seen picture this. Your urine when you haven't had any water all day. So gross right? Yep that's what it looks like, it's a nasty brownish yellow color...it looks SO NASTY! Thinking about it kind of makes me want to barf. So back to the first time I gave. I was doing pretty good, I'd been going for about 30 minutes and my bottle was almost full enough that I could leave. I was feeling pretty proud of myself because I'd seen people go in way before me and they were still sitting there with not nearly as much plasma pumped as I had. So I was definitely the plasma champ of the day...until I was about to die. I've never actually fainted before in my whole life. I've never had that pre-fainting feeling where your vision gets all blurry and spotted and you feel all light headed. So needless to say when that started happening I literally thought that I was going to die. I was on the verge of death probably looking super pale and sweaty and one of the "doctors" came up to me. The following is a pretty accurate dramatization of the events the occurred.

Nurse:Are you feeling ok
Me: (about to barf) *shaking my head violently NO!* (bad idea)
Nurse: Do you feel sick?
Me: I think I'm dying
Nurse: Do you feel really hot?
Me: (shaking my head no because up to this point I didn't feel really hot, possibly because the air is up so high in that dang room in the first place I still had to thaw out. The shaking of my head quickly turns to nodding because all of the sudden I break out in a cold sweat, all of a sudden I'm super hot!)
Nurse: (calls another guy over therefore two more people come over (other guy has to feel important right?) One of them gets me an ice pack to put on my neck, the other guy gets me a small little cup of water)
Male Nurse: Drink this slowly.
Me: (inhales the water) Can I get one more please?
Pointless Nurse: Do you feel like you are going to throw up or pass out?
Me: Both
Pointless Nurse: You need to slow down your breathing, you are breathing too fast.
Me: (I try to breathe slower, but it doesn't really work out so hot, it basically stays at the same pace)
Pointless Nurse: Not slow enough, breathe with me, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.
Me:(finally slow my breathing to a human rate.)
Pointless nurse: Oh good, you'll be fine.
Nurse: (is holding my arm making sure if I pass out my needle isn't ripped out of my arm) you'll be alright in a second I just have to hold your arm until you feel completely better. Don't worry this happens to alot of people their first time.

Oh Good! The way everyone was staring at me like a fish in a bowl I thought this was a random special occasion. It was super embarrassing. I felt weak. I also began to think that it almost never happens because every time I'm there I definitely look for that struggling newcomer so I can possibly meet their eye, give them a look of comfort, like "I've been where you are, it's going to be ok, you're going to pull through." I've only ever see one person react the way I did, once. Ever.

So after my little "episode" I had my roommate come pick me up from the plasma center, no way was I going to make it on foot. I had forgotten about a test that I needed to take and it was the last day my test was open so I had her drop me off at the testing center. The testing center has an unnecessarily long and steep set of stairs leading up to it. So of course when I finally reached the top after several pit stops along the way I pretty much felt sick to my stomach again. To my chagrin the line was out the door. 20 painful minutes later I was in the testing room with my test that I wasn't really ready to take in the first place. I sat down and begin filling out the questions. About 10 questions in I thought I was going to barf. You know how your mouth waters right before you barf and that's how you know? Well that's what was going on. I thought I was going to vomit all over my test. Not only would I have to pay the 5 dollars for ruining a test booklet but I would forever be embarrassed the rest of my life. I put my head down hoping that the feeling would pass. It subsided. I sat back up. It returned. I knew then that I was not going to be able to take my time and finish the test to the best of my ability. I circled C down the scantron, that's supposed to be the most used test answer is it not? I literally ran out the door into the bathroom and almost upchucked everywhere. I sat there with my face against the cool tile of the bathroom wall, not even caring what nastiness could be lurking there. I was miserable. I made it home, and pretty much didn't move the rest of the day.
 (this isn't actually my arm since they don't let you take pictures in there, but that's the gist of my Tuesdays and Thursdays)

Thankfully I have not had a repeat of my first time. I do feel a little lightheaded some days, but other than that no big deal. It's all good. I get 50 bucks in my pocket a week and I get to watch a movie every time I go. It's usually a pretty decent one too. However I would like a real job, SOON!