Monday, September 17, 2012

Even adult women need a time out!

I know I've already blogged two stories today, but I can't promise I'll be on again soon and I would like to make sure that this story is told. I'll be up front. This one isn't funny. It's just a recount of my weekend.

So I don't know if you've ever heard of the conference "Time Out for Women" it's a weekend thing for women. It's a time to get away and listen to wonderful talks given by wonderful people and the chance to hear lovely musical numbers. This was the first one I'd had the opportunity to go to. My mom asked if I wanted to go. I wasn't really looking forward to sitting still for hours on end to listen to people I didn't know talk about church stuff. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy going to church, but I feel like 3 hours on Sunday was enough church for a weekend, I didn't want to give up 3 hours on Friday and 6 on Saturday for it as well.

I'm SO glad I went. I usually have an extremely hard time paying attention to one person talking for more than 15 minutes. I swear I'm ADD. Even if it looks like I'm paying attention to someone chances are my mind is elsewhere. It's not a lack of interest. It's literally just a lack of focus. I really went so that I could have an excuse not to work for the weekend. I planned on snoozing through a talk or two and catching up on some sleep that I'd been lacking.

Here is the link to what our line up was for the weekend.

I don't know if you've heard of any of these people. (If you have it's most likely Hilary Weeks or Brad Wilcox) but they were all AMAZING speakers. They each had fantastic stories to tell. I cried. I'll be real I cried. I don't cry, and I cried. Just watch this video and you'll probably want to go too.



We had the opportunity to hear from this woman Mariama Kallon. She has an amazing and sad story. She inspires me.



She is also featured in this music video from Hilary Weeks who was another presenter. I fell in love with her music and she is also a very entertaining speaker. This song is fantastic and so sad yet spiritually edifying.




Anyway it was a GREAT weekend. I didn't fall asleep once and I paid attention to each and every speaker which I realize is a miracle in itself.

Lastly I want to thank my mom. I can't express in words how much I love my mom. She is an inspiration to me and a great example of the truth and love that comes with being a part of this wonderful gospel that she has raised me in. I know I wouldn't be the person I am today without her constant love and example of service and kindness that she has been. I know we don't always get along, but if we did then people would probably thing there was something wrong with us. Seriously she is the best. I thank my Heavenly Father for blessing me with such a great and steadfast mother who has never failed to stand up for truth and righteousness in my eyes. I love you mom.


I forgot about the cat

As I was writing my last post about the mouse I realized that I never wrote about the cat...

it is another very sad story.

It was the weekend before the 4th of July in 2011. I had gone down to Preston with my lovely roommate Elle and her then...for lack of a more accurate word "boyfriend" to meet her family and spend the weekend at her grandma's house and float down a river. It was a very fun weekend. I'm sorry I never told you about it when it happened and I really am not going to tell you about it now. I'm only giving you a little back ground of the events leading up to the real reason I am writing this post.

We were on our way home. Elle's man friend was driving and Elle had made a comment around the lines of "how fast can your truck go" it was when we hit 90 that we saw a cop going the other way. He slowed down and made a comment "well there's nothing he can do" (there was a concrete barrier down the middle of the highway separating the lanes) About 5-7 minutes later we see lights behind us. We might've been alright if the truck we were riding in hadn't been a bright and might I add uncommonly electric blue color. Once that line of vision is broken it's pretty hard for a cop to prove it was really you speeding, but the cop had indeed radioed a cop on our side of the barrier and told them our speed. It was he that was now tailing us. He pulled us over and the cop that had spotted us in the first place was on his way to us at that moment. We sat there waiting and as we sat I noticed this tiny black kitten come out from the median.

I instantly knew the fate of that little kitten. I was amazed to see that he was in the median in the first place because he would've had to cross the other lanes of traffic to get there. The speed limit was 65...I knew that little kitten couldn't defy the odds twice. I willed the little kitten to go back. "No little kitten, don't cross the road" It was too late. He ventured out into the lane closest to him. A truck was coming. "please don't hit him" The kitten was between the trucks wheels so he was safe...for now. "go back little kitten go back" The next car clipped the kitten. The kitten squirmed and I wanted to cry. The next car put him out of his misery. I don't know why I've been cursed with this whole wrong place wrong time kind of life, but I'm tired of seeing poor little animals die. It's sad. :(

You thought the frog story was bad?

Hello all!

Remember that time I stepped on a Frog? Well I have a similar story for you...and in my opinion this one is worse...

It all started at work. Since I am off of school for the next 3-4 months I am back working at Chick Fil A. Yay! Year # 4! Haha. Anyway seeing as how our store is always super busy we have a second drive thru. This happened like 2 years back, but my point is that ever since we opened plans have been put in motion to accelerate the speed of service that our store has to offer. The current method is having 2 outdoor expeditors. What is that you ask? Well two employees go outside and pull the cars up to the very edge of the drive-thru (past the window and clear up to the drive thru exit) We then grab the order paper, their food, and their drinks and run it all out to them, take their cash/credit card, and then run it back to the window to pay. Lastly we run their receipt/card/change back to their car and they drive off on their merry way. It is definitely a good plan to move things along quickly. So one lovely day I'm outside doing this very physical task with a good friend of mine from work (we'll call her Mary to save her the embarrassment of being mentioned on my blog)

Mary and I are doing a great job running these transactions (on a good day we'll do 100 something cars in an hour) All of a sudden Mary screams. I'm talking a bloody murder kind of scream, not just a little scream. I honestly thought maybe a car had run over her foot or something. (The first rule in outside expediting is "Don't get run over"...no that's not a joke my manager really told me that when teaching me how to do it) So thinking her foot was probably a mangled mess I looked down at the ground just in time to see a little grey mouse scamper off behind the car. It really was a cute mouse. I'm not a fan of vermin or anything but this was just a small grey mouse. It wasn't a rat. It was maybe the size of an iPhone screen...maybe even a little smaller. So realizing that it was just a mouse that sent Mary screaming I laughed. It was in fact, quite humorous. She screamed jumped and ran away. The guy in the giant truck behind us was laughing too.

Not even a minute later I feel something on my foot...Thinking I possibly dropped a sauce packet or something I just moved my foot...but then I felt it again.  Something was definitely crawling on my foot...I looked down very calmly hoping to not alarm Mary and at the same time trying not to scream myself. There was the mouse...trying to pick up a waffle fry to possible bring home to his little mouse family. Now I can see a mouse on the ground and not freak...but this little guy was on my foot..it wasn't a pet mouse..it was a homeless mouse. I'd be no less terrified if a homeless man had come over to collect fries from beneath the drive thru window.

I tried to hide my horror, but I was looking down at my foot with a very frightened look on my face. Mary saw that face and followed my gaze downward. "AGHHHHHHHHHH IT'S BACK IT'S ON YOUR FOOT! IT'S A MOUSE!" the guy in the truck behind us is nearly in tears from laughing. Mary at this point has run to the very end of the drive-thru and people are giving her a stare that clearly said "should you be in an asylum rather than working here?" because clearly they had no pretext to her bizzare behavior. This was in fact the second time she had screamed and run past them and all.

Of course the last thing you want to yell at a food establishment is "mouse!" or "rat!" or "cockroach" so everyone inside the building is telling Mary to shut her mouth. I'm laughing and extremely relieved that the mouse has vacated my foot. It had scampered off when Mary began screaming bloody murder. The guy with the truck finally had his food so he began to drive off....

It was then that I heard the noise.

Thinking back on the noise alone makes me want to vomit.

It was a mixture between a pop, a crunch, and a squelching noise.

Excuse me while I go vomit. (I apologize if you happen to be reading this and eating at the same time)

The mouse had apparently left my foot but didn't want to go far from that fry so he ran behind the tire of the truck. Of course when the truck started to move it was too late for the poor little mouse.

I heard the noise and instantly knew the source of it, but I didn't want to look. I couldn't, I was horrified. I also knew that it had to be moved. NO I didn't move it, there was no way I could touch it. You know when you don't want to look? I mean you REALLY don't want to look, but yet. You have to. I looked. Nearly lost the food I'd eaten on my break. It was disgusting. I get grossed out enough when I see road kill when I'm driving, but this was 10 times worse. It was 2 feet away from me first of all.

That poor mouse was inside out. Guts spilled out of every...nope I can't go on. Sorry I'm going to spare you those details mainly because I will probably vomit if I continue. I'm just going to tell  you that it was GROSS. If you know me, you know I can't handle blood, any sort of bodily fluid really. I mean I give plasma twice weekly when I'm up at school and I never look at the IV coming out of my arm nor the rest of the people in the room giving plasma. I couldn't. I'd probably barf or pass out. One of my favorite tv shows is Bones and ask anyone. I literally have to turn my head and avoid looking at the dead bodies they find. The word flesh alone gives me the willies.

I had to tell someone so I leaned in the window with my eyes closed trying to block the image from my mind "someoneranoverthemouse" I half whispered half squealed...Of course no one understood what I said, eyes still closed "someoneRAN OVER themouse" It took them a second but the horror on their faces confirmed that they'd heard me. They both cautiously looked out the window (I'm still looking in the window trying not to vomit, but I can feel it trying to escape) quick as a flash they both pull their heads in the window and silently scream...you know how those look...the person looks as if their screaming and there is no noise. (you may have guessed already but everyone in drive-thru that morning was a girl haha) A boy had to take charge, he came and swept up the  mouse and threw it away. Only problem was...there was still mouse blood in two different spots (I forgot to mention that another car ran it over and it stuck to his tire, but fell off shortly after) I was still feeling pretty ill and wanted to just go inside, but no way was that going to happen, we still had like half an hour left. So we poured some hot water on the blood...of course that didn't work.  Then someone suggested coke seeing as how blood is actually cleaned off the street after an accident with coke. Sure enough that worked well enough so that I wasn't seeing blood, however the memory burned into my mind and I felt sick the rest of my shift.

I love animals. I really do. I could never hunt or watch any animal being slaughtered. I hate bugs with every fiber of my being and I can't even kill those. This was horrifying and now every time I see road kill I think of that poor mouse daddy or mommy that couldn't take waffle fries to his/her little mouse babies and they will grow up forever thinking they'd been abandoned. So sad :(

Sunday, September 9, 2012

The stink that stank above all stinky stinks

*****WARNING This story is not for the faint of heart. It contains graphic pictures that are 100% real. No Photoshop. Be glad they aren't scratch and sniff.*****


The date was August 29, 2012. The day was almost over when we arrived home. The house had lain empty for 2 weeks now, of course I hadn't seen it in 7 months. I was happy to be home. We all were. It had been a long drive from Castle Rock, CO we all had fun, but we were tired and happy to sleep in our own beds for a change. You know the way your house smells when you've been gone a long time? It's literally the smell of home. Our house always smells like a new house to me when I come home after having been gone at school. I don't know why, it's not a new house. It's 4 years old. I'll be honest I was excited for that smell. We pulled in the driveway and after dad gave us a rundown of how the rest of the evening would go (unpack and put everything where it belongs before we can shower, eat, or go to bed) we attempted to get inside the house. Our front door was locked and there technically wasn't a key that could open it (a year ago our door knob broke and I installed the new lock and handle. I left the key business up to my dad, but of course the whole lock reset kit is in a box somewhere probably locked away in the room of requirement at Hogwarts where the rest of lost items end up) our garage door wouldn't open and that was a little bit curious. Figuring/hoping the old house key would work on the back door we went around and tried that out. We were in. I first realized something was wrong when the smell that reached my nostrils wasn't the smell of new house. In fact when I watch Hoarders I imagine the smell I smelled at that moment.

It was awful.

My mom who claims to have the best sniffer in the family thought it smelled like rotten garbage. The garbage had been taken out before the big trip though so that wasn't it. Dad tried to flip the lights on. No go. All at once the realization of what had happened hit us. The power was out. There was no telling how long it'd been out, but by the smell of the house. It was longer than a few days. It had to have been close to 90 degrees in the house. It was muggy, hot and the smell. Oh goodness the smell. There was a fridge in the kitchen and a fridge in the garage...right next to our deep freeze. We dreaded the task, but we knew what had to be done. The fridge inside had to be cleaned out. It took several kitchen sized garbage bags to contain the bacteria infested and vomit inducing rotten food within the fridge/freezer side by side. Meat was crawling with maggots, juices leaked all over our hands, shoes, and the tile. The milk had turned thicker than cottage cheese and had turned a sickly green/yellow color. Butter had melted and once more solidified on the shelves of the door. Cheese looked as though it had been in the sun for hours. A can of crescent rolls had burst open and risen to the size of a pizza crust, and oh the stink. Imagine an animal crawling into a dumpster in an alley that holds the waste of a sushi bar, the grease from a fast food restaurant, and the dirty diapers of a day care. The animal dies in the dumpster and sits there rotting. The trash from the dumpster is then taken to a dump in Texas out in the open with no shade coverage in the middle of the summer. The smell that rises from that stinky pile of filth was maybe 1/3 of the stench coming from our indoor fridge. The deep freeze was twice as bad as that. I apologize for the colorful description, but it is necessary. The smell was so bad that one sniff would send you dry heaving. Heaven forbid you breathe through your mouth. You could taste the smell. That's how bad it was. Like taking a bite of that aforementioned trash. I have to give credit to my mom and Mckelle though. They are definitely tougher than the rest of the family. I can't deal with bad smells. They drive me crazy. I could touch my uvula with a toothbrush all day and not gag once, but if a smell worse than mild fart reaches me I'm retching like a victim of E. coli.

This is the inside of our deep freeze. It doesn't look too bad, but again, be thankful you can't smell it.




These are all of the juices that remained after we cleaned out everything. This contains meat juice, melted ice cream, Turkey drippings (and NOT the good kind) and pretty much the gross things that drip off of all the items above when they rot in a deep freeze with no electricity.
 Top: The garage upright freezer. Ruined freezer jam, bread, pizza, berries, bread and some pie crust (?)

Bottom: The outside fridge. Check out that gnarly cheese. The orange juice was foul. Yogurt was solidified...hot dogs looked pretty alright...scary...

Below the bottom: The butter that melted. The blue line is about how high the butter had risen in it's melted state and then solidified again.



 
We had masks on, those did little to nothing even when we doused them with lavender. That smell penetrated walls, garage doors, everything. You could smell it throughout the house, but it was definitely worse when you got up close to the source.

























The cleaning crew!

So come to find out there was a lightning storm THE DAY MY PARENTS LEFT!! For 2 weeks that food sat there rotting. Apparently lightning hit the street in front of the house and the neighbors had some minor mishaps, we were lucky and got the full force. It blew the fuse box outside and fried anything plugged into the internet, our AC, some of the circuits were all messed up so an electrician had to come cut up our walls to find the source of the circuit issues. Here's the hole he cut in my dad's office wall, it's about the same height as the wall. It's really a huge miracle that our house didn't burn down. All of the black is charred from the electric surge.

Our insurance covered some of the damage and we're grateful for that, but after seeing this wall we were even more blessed that our whole house wasn't a pile of ashes when we got back. On the plus side we got a new fridge and boy is she a beaut! Freezes stuff in the fridge, but that's alright sometimes.

SO that was our week from Hell. The AC was out upstairs for over a week, and boy was it stinking HOT. I love Texas more than any of the other 50 states, but dang it's hot. Everything is pretty much back to normal now, we haven't replaced the fridge/deep freeze in the garage yet, so we're tight on refrigeration space, but that's definitely a first world problem and I shan't complain about that.

The moral of this story is, if the people who are keeping an eye on things while you are gone can't get in through the garage with the code, tell them to break a window and remove all the food in your fridge and deep freeze. ;)


Bree