Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Am I a little bit paranoid?
So my new recently favorite show to watch is Law and Order: SVU. I tribute my new found love to the Hagee family for turning me onto this wonderful but yet horrifyingly scary new obsession. I know that it is a terrible show filled with terrible people committing terrible crimes but I can't stop watching it, I find it so fascinating. Well as I mentioned before I am house sitting for my neighbor down the street and one comfort they have at their house that I don't have the pleasure to have at home is DVR. I love this awesome little box that will record whatever I want to watch at any time of day and even while I'm watching other shows. Well I noticed that Law and Order came on at the same time as That 70's show and I decided I would watch that 70's show live and then record Law and Order and watch it later (because of course they always switch to a commercial when it's getting really suspenseful and then I could just skip the commercials! Great idea no?) So the other night I'd had like 4 episodes that I had recorded and I sat down with my whole box of pizza (that I'd had delivered because I was feeling pretty independent living alone for a week and decided to order a box of pizza rather than cook something...I'll have you know I finished that whole box of pizza too...over a few days but nonetheless)So I'm watching my episodes and all of the sudden I hear one of the dogs bark upstairs. Well let me tell you something about these dogs...there were two of them at the house with me...both deaf, one of them was fully blind and the other was blind in one eye and had poor sight in the other. So I'm thinking to myself...what in the world could make those dogs bark unless something were to touch them?! So then I'm thinking maybe they ran into each other or something. It's all good, but THEN I hear the other dog bark...in a different room. So the two dogs are on opposite ends of the house and they are both barking. I'm starting to get a little afraid at this moment because first of all I'm watching a show that is primarily about all of the bad things that can happen to a girl when she is alone and second of all what the heck causes blind/deaf dogs to bark like crazy? So of course I immediately think someone is in the house. Have you ever watched a scary movie? I LOVE scary movies because I love the adrenaline feeling you get when you are scared. Another thing I like to do is talk during scary movies. I do this for two reasons the 1st reason is it kind of gives me a false bravado appearance, if i can find things to laugh at during a movie I feel a little bit safer and people think that I am unaffected by the intensity of the scary situations in the movie. The 2ND reason I do this is because I think that deep down the people on the screen can actually hear what I'm yelling at them. So often during a movie you might hear me say "don't go in there you stupid head! You're gonna die" Alas they end up going in the ominously dark room and end up dying...If only they'd listen to me. Well I decided something on this particular night. YOU CAN'T HELP BUT GO IN THERE! I was sitting on the couch, trying to ignore the barking dogs and continue watching the show that was putting these horrible ideas in my head, but I decided to go upstairs and see what the deal was. Well I couldn't work up enough courage to go up there, but I also couldn't work up enough sense to not go up there. So I looked around for some sort of weapon that I could beat any intruder with...I found a nine-iron golf club leaning against the wall next to the TV (what it was doing there in the first place I'll never know) So I took up my defense and slowly made my way to the stairs...I was calling the dogs names (as if the deaf dogs could even hear me) and all of the sudden the one on my left stopped barking...well now I'm thinking that the danged dog is dead, so now I'm REALLY starting to panic. I've reached the top of the stairs. I lean over to the light switch. I turn the switch...lights stay off. "OH MY GOSH THEY'VE CUT THE POWER!" (I guess I didn't realize that all the lights were still on downstairs) So now I'm really freaking out...my heart is beating really fast and I'm about to start sobbing. Then all of the sudden I hear a noise coming from the room that I believe a poor animal has just been murdered in (seeing as how I thought the dog was dead I pretty much was convinced there was a man in there about to come kill me.) So I say "I'm sorry Bella (the other dog's name) I've got to go, I hope you're still alive tomorrow" I bolt down the stairs (still clutching my golf club) and grab the keys to their pretty red Mazda and sprint to the garage...I get in the car and begin to think...What if there is a group of people outside waiting for me?! It seems to take forever for the garage to open enough to slip the car out onto the driveway. My eyes frantically search the entire yard and nearby street to make sure there is no sort of large creepy vans nearby and as soon as I hit the street I slam that car into drive, shut the garage and speed towards my house (about 50 yards away mind you) I am sobbing at this point and I reach my door (still believing I have a mob of serial rapists chasing after me) and start pounding on the door of my house (it's about 3 in the morning at this point) my mom answers the door in her PJ's looking really angry and maybe a little bit afraid..when she sees me her face turns to concern as she takes in my tear streaked face. After telling my story my mom asks if I actually saw anyone "well no, I didn't mom" then she asked what I was watching on TV. "Law and Order:SVU" well at that moment I think she put my track record of paranoid tendencies and the show I was watching together and told me to go to bed. Which I did...right there on the entryway floor. The next day I made my mother come over there with me to make sure the dogs weren't dead and that there was nobody in the house (Neither proved to be true) I'm happy to say I'm still alive and so are the dogs...although my mom doesn't think anyone was there and my overactive imagination got the best of me..I still wonder if i was inches away from death...
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