KEVIN!

Before I really get into this post I want to give you a little background on my love for dogs. Well to be frank....I LOVE THEM! I've wanted one my whole life and unfortunately my parents would never let me have one for the entire 18 years I've been alive. Well that was never good enough for me. I prayed for a dog for years, Every birthday wish? "Please let me get a dog!" Every shooting star? "Please let me get a dog!" It's 11:11? (twice a day) "I wish my parents would let me get a dog" all to no avail. 18 years went by and every Christmas and Birthday I was disappointed. I never gave up hope. I came up with ingenious schemes to somehow keep a dog in my room without anyone knowing but unfortunately they all fell through. I wouldn't give up. So late August comes around and I see a glorious Facebook status that once again lit the fire of hope in my heart. "Does anyone want a free puppy?" I didn't even ask my parents because I knew that if I ever wanted a dog that I had to take matters into my own hands. Plan Kevin was put in motion.

The Plan:

After speaking with the person who was giving away the puppies it was decided that I could have a free puppy (decided between the two of us, my parents remained oblivious) I would be able to go and pick whichever pup I wanted. I had already decided on a name; Kevin. It was the perfect name for my dog. Have you ever seen The Proposal with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds? That was when I first heard of that name for a dog and at that moment it seemed so wrong to have Kevin be a human name at all. It was obviously such a perfect name for a dog. I decided then (a year before I would even actually get Kevin) that Kevin was to be his name. So I was able to go and see all of the puppies. As it turned out they were a mix of two of my favorite breeds German Shepard and Black Lab, but only 3 of the puppies had the markings of a German Shepard, I picked the male Shepard looking puppy out and it was all settled. The puppies would be able to go home in mid-September.

Kevin the first time I saw him at 6 wks

It was perfect timing. You see my parents were set to go on a week long cruise September 19th (MID SEPTEMBER!!) I would bring Kevin home while they were gone and let all of my siblings fall in love with him (it couldn't be helped he was just that adorable) and then when my parents came home it would be 5 against 2 and they'd have the choice of breaking our hearts or keeping the dog. I was confident they weren't that heartless. Well I began preparing for a dog, buying things he would need. I got his dog tags and his collar. I was so excited. Then on September 10th I get a message from my wish granter saying that Kevin can go home that very same day! It was 2 weeks earlier than I planned on and I panicked. I was so excited that the wait was over but I couldn't just walk in with a puppy. I called my mom and told her the whole story. I begged to be able to keep him and she wasn't too happy. She said no, but I wasn't going to let all this hard work and planning fall through yet AGAIN! I called my dad. I told him the story and begged him. He said no. I begged some more. My siblings joined in (they all knew already) He told us he'd talk to my mom. Long story short they said Kevin could live with us on probation. If he was a terrible dog we'd have to give him away. Well anyone who's had a puppy knows they're pretty terrible. They chew things, they pee all over and they bite. Kevin didn't fall short of those expectations. He whined all night for three days, he pooped and peed on the floor (even on the carpet a few times) he bit through a 2 leashes and a collar, he found his bark and wouldn't stop utilizing it, he bit everyones hands and ripped people's shirts, he knocked children over. He was pretty terrible there for a while. We were all a bit worried my dad would drag him to the pound. Luckily everyone pretty much loves him though. My dad isn't a huge fan but he'll pet him sometimes. My mom is secretly in love with him, she's always worried about him and fretting about how much he eats or if he's been outside for too long. I love him. He is the most handsome little dog (well not so little anymore I guess) Oh Kevin. Soo cuute.

Have I Mentioned that I LOVE Children?

Well I am in Colorado. First of all let me point out that I LOVE Colorado. It is my favorite state in this country (well to be fair it's my favorite state I've ever been to). It's so pretty here, the weather is enjoyable most of the time, it actually snows here (I sure do miss the snow) and the mountains are GORGEOUS! It also helps that the majority of my mom's family lives here (nothing against my dad's family, they just live in Utah mainly...a little bit less desirable in my opinion. I love them all the same though!) Well I am here for a family reunion that begins on Thursday and let me tell you I am VERY excited about it. This is the first reunion that my mom's family has ever had so you see there is reason to celebrate. Well I'll have to blog about the reunion later (obviously if I blogged about it now it would be all made up) but I was just being bored and I decided to blog about my day at church. I've always kind of hated visiting other people's wards because I am slightly socially awkward around strangers, I'm not good at making new friends, and people tend to ignore me (especially the people my age). Don't get me wrong I love the church and all, and I know it's true wherever I go, but it's just slightly uncomfortable for me. Since I turned 18 last month however, I was actually excited to go. I didn't have to sit through the awkwardness of introducing myself to the YW who probably wouldn't try to get to know me anyway, I didn't have to tell people what my name was 100 times and have to hear them pronounce it Bree-yawn-a rather than Bree-Anne-A like it should be, and I didn't have to be on the recieving end of awkward stares as people tried to assess me. I would be able to go to relief society and maybe introduce myself once and sit down and be done with it. Truth be told I was rather looking forward to it. After some deliberation I decided to go to church with my aunt and her family rather than my grandparents (it was 9am opposed to 1pm, I like going earlier geez) turns out that my aunt is the nursery leader (she watches the little kids under the age of 4) So instead of going to relief society I got an even better gig in the Nursery! I didn't have to introduce myself to anyone! Half the kids wouldn't even talk, and they certainly wouldn't judge me! I love little kids. I have like 10 younger siblings (ok so it's really 4), I sort of want to teach kindergarten when I grow up, I love babies, and I love babysitting. So as you may have guessed I was kind of in Heaven in this little class. I always hear people in my church bashing the job of nursery teacher. I never understood it because in my eyes that would be the best calling ever! you get snack, you can play with a million toys, the kids are all the cutest things you've ever seen and the only drama in there is "he took my toy!" while I still think that calling is the best the church has to offer I suppose I can see why some people detest it. First of all we had at least one child crying at all times (not to mention the one time where they all started crying at the same moment) second of all that drama I was talking about earlier...the "he took my toy" comment, well that happened every second of the 2 hours we were in there and I just want to point out that it was usually "she took my toy" man little girls can be so brutal. Third of all we went on a nature walk to find animals. I would like to point out that the only "animals" to be found in a church parking lot are ants...we also saw a bird fly by but other than that...not alot goin on out there. As for the ants...well...may they rest in peace. My little cousin was in that class and as all of the other kids were gandering at the ant she came by and squashed it. Poor little guy didn't even know what hit em. Then it became a game of ant-slaughter. The kids were pretty hilarious though. Kids really do say the darndest things though. Here are just a few things I heard while tending the little de..angels. ;)

My aunt: "Do you have a dog? or a cat? or a fish?"
little boy: "I have a banana"

upon picking up my little cousin she said "you stink!"
me: "my breath stinks or I stink?"
cousin: "oh, no it's my blanket"
she then proceeded to continue smelling her blanket and making disgusted faces

little girl: "I have a poopie!"
me: "uh do you need to go to the bathroom?"
little girl: "no, my poopie says woof!"
(I didn't stop laughing for a good 5 minutes)

The same kid who said he had a banana "hey hey guys"
(upon reading that I guess it doesn't really sound funny, but he had such a cute little voice and said duys instead of "guys" it was the first thing he said as he walked into the room and I thought it was soo cute)

I can't think of anything else but I was certainly entertained the entire two hours.

We also attempted a game of Duck, Duck, Goose. Apparently 3 is too young to teach kids such a...difficult? game. We sat in a circle and I explained the game in the simplest way I could think of. We started playing and I was it first to demonstrate. I chose my cousin to chase me and she started chasing me, and then another got up and started chasing me, and then another, and then another...finally the whole class was up...and well that was the last time we attempted that.

Overall I enjoyed my experience and I think I would like to be called as a nursery leader one day. It sure does test your patience. I guess I'll get back on here sometime next week (unless nothing bloggable happens at our reunion) Au revoir!

Bored out of my Gourd

First of all...How does someone become bored out of their gourd? I ChaCha'd it. Origin unknown. Figures. It's an odd phrase when you think about it although I suppose when you aren't thinking about it, it's still weird. I bet it isn't meant to be taken literally...I'm sure they just threw gourd in there because it rhymes with bored...then again so does...cord, ford, chord, hoard, board, roared, scored, adored...yeah I guess I'd probably choose gourd too with those choices. Well there really isn't a point for this post. I just want to post some of my favorite videos that I've seen recently. I love youtube hopping. I also love to watch SNL, here is a mixture of both for your enjoyment!


There are two more videos starring Penelope. You can find them on hulu.com


Idk why this makes me laugh so much but it does. There is another one with the same chick and Alex Baldwin plays her dad I like that one alot too, but it's a tad innapropriate for my blog. You can see it on hulu.com if you're feeling dangerous though.


I've decided Kristen Wiig is my new hero. just kidding she's not. just kidding she is. just kidding I am my own hero. Just kidding I actually love batman. just kidding. just kidding. just kidding.


And finally Stuart. AHAHAHA I love these videos. Sorry the quality is bad :/

Alright well I hope you've enjoyed this. I know I have!

I Would Also Like to Point Out...

So here I am at 4am. hehe that rhymed. ANYWAY I would like to point out that I have changed my blog! If this is your first time on here then you are unaware of any difference, however if you have been on here before go ahead. Take a minute to look at and appreciate the changes. WELL I would like to thank Lauren Hagee for her help and guidance that made these changes possible. I would like to thank Adobe for having a 30 day trial of photoshop and I would also like to thank my parents for this wonderful laptop which I am able to stay on at all hours of the night without their knowledge. I would like to point out that I am not finished editing this blog, I still need to work out a few kinks. I would also like to point out that I have been working on these changes since 11 am this morning...or was it yesterday???! o_O I would also like to point out that I have to get up for work in 2 hours. I would also like to point out that I am exhausted. I would also like to point out that today after work my friend Tiffany and I flew my kites in the parking lot of Chick-Fil-A and my favorite Batman kite flew out of my hands and onto the roof of the Starbucks next door (more proof that coffee ruins lives) I will probably never see that kite again (luckily I have another kite of the exact nature in the trunk of my car in case the other one ever flew away although I didn't count on having to use it so soon I am still glad I have a back-up) I would also like to point out that I made a new friend tonight. I don't know his name, but he is the night guard of the 1890 ranch shopping center. He rides around on his golf cart all night long. I don't know how old he is, but I do know his life story. He proceeded to tell me his life story when Tiffany and I were sitting in my car (after the unfortunate kite mishap) I don't know why...I didn't ask him to nor did I even attempt to initiate a conversation. However I must have encouraged him in some way because he is now convinced that I want to apply to be a night security guard just like him (he even said that if I put his name under my references he will receive $300 which he will happily split with me) I would also like to point out that this encounter with Paul (I dub him Paul because he vaguely reminds me of Paul Blart: Mall Cop) happened at about 11:30pm last night, our conversation lasted until midnight. I would also like to point out that Paul's only weapons are a flashlight and a ball point pen. I would also like to point out that I named this post after the word "pen" this goes to show that I actually repeated the phrase "I would also like to point out" roughly 8 times without realizing my total lack of creativity and mindless ramblings. If this post doesn't make sense...read it at 4 am, it might help.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Well yesterday was my birthday! yay! I am finally 18. Which is wonderful because now I can buy cigarettes, go to jail as an adult, and buy lotto tickets (none of which I plan to do!) I can however vote, order things from the television, and officially drive to the bank to deposit Chick-Fil-A's money (I say official because once I went when I was 17 and it wasn't technically...legal) ANYWAY. It was also the day of Leander High's prom. I didn't go (in case you were dying to know) I just don't think that spending my birthday at a dance is ideal. First of all I can't dance (especially not the way everyone else does...gross) second of all, I'm not a fan of mainstream music (only type of music played at school dances) third, I didn't have a date, and even if someone had asked me he wouldn't have been the person I'd wanted to be there with (since he already had a date). So you see why I instead chose to go on a 14 mile kayaking trip with my dad. Oh you don't see why anyone in their right mind would choose to do that on their birthday? I suppose you have a point. Kayaking isn't exactly my idea of a fun time either, but my dad really wanted to go and I tend to go out of my comfort zone if it means quality time with my papa. I'm not a particularly strong kayak-er. I am not very fast and I have a hard time avoiding trees (actually I didn't know that until yesterday.) I'd honestly rather be in a motor boat, or a gondola (seeing as how a usually attractive Italian man rows for you).  I wouldn't have gone, but my dad was apparently planning on going whether I was there or not (On my birthday? How dare he!) He actually invited my brother to go after I'd declined the first time, but then after hearing him ask my brother I reconsidered. After all what could be so bad about 14 miles down the San Marcos river? HA! So the day started off icky looking and it looked as though the clouds would release their treasures at any minute. It didn't look like a promising birthday. So my dad and I started off on our adventure. He had high hopes for the day and I was secretly praying it wouldn't take that long to paddle 14 miles. So we're paddling along, paddling along...paddling along for what seems like hours...neither of us are really talkative...I'm quietly whispering "I think I can" under my breath and I have the urge to ask how much longer (I hadn't yet because I didn't want to sound eager to finish or give the impression that I was complaining) I finally did ask and to my dismay we hadn't even met the 5 mile mark yet. The current was almost nonexistent and I was slowly dying of boredom. Finally my dad and I find something to talk about and the conversation keeps us busy until we hit a fork in the river. My dad swears he said "go to the left" but I swear he said "right." So of course I paddled to the right side. Well turns out there's this hugenormous tree blocking the whole right side of the river and the only way to get through it is to lay flat on my kayak and float underneath. Well this may have sounded and even looked simple enough. To anyone else it may have even been simple enough...however I am not just anyone. Before I go on I'd like to mention that I am TERRIFIED of spiders. Bring on snakes and sharks but if I see a spider of any size I scream like a 4 year old little girl. Prior to coming to this fork in the river I'd had a harrowing experience with a pregnant spider who decided to jump on my kayak after I'd had a nasty run in with a tree that must have previously been its home. I screamed like a small girl and with one clean swipe of my paddle I sent the spider flying to who knows where. It still freaked me out and after that I became a little paranoid. MEANWHILE back at the fork in the river I am trying to lay as flat as I can on my kayak so that I can float under this unnecessarily large tree. I get about half way under it when I realize the ENTIRE underside is carpeted with spiders the size of a silver dollar. Well I can't go backwards so I continue to the other side with a speed that I'd never before reached. I sit up and there are at least 10 spiders on my kayak. I went crazy, I was freaking out. I've never been so afraid in my life...well there was that one time. Anyway I'm wildly swinging my paddle around trying to smash these spiders who were obviously going to devour me whole. After nearly falling off my kayak, hitting myself in the back of the head with my paddle, screaming like a banshee, and almost passing out after finding a spider on my hand I was able to get rid of all of the spiders on my kayak (or so I thought, I later found at least three more stowaways) The rest of the kayaking trip consisted of me running into every single tree on the bank of the San Marcos River (it was like they were magnetic and I was made of steel), being knocked out of my kayak by several of those trees (I believe there were 5 of these instances, one of which I was carried away by the current while my kayak remained stuck in the tree my foot then caught on a stray piece of fishing line which I thought might cut off my foot but luckily it broke. This also happened to be the one moment I'd taken off my life jacket to work on my tan and I am a terrible swimmer...I am a more qualified drowner) and an embarrassing run in with a tree in which I ended up in an awkward half upside down position with my feet being the only barrier between me and a spider web covered tree and my paddle swinging pointlessly at a branch of spiders too far out of my reach (I only say this is embarrassing because there was this random woman who was sitting on the side of the river. I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact that we were in the middle of nowhere and she was randomly staring at me while I fought off a tree, or amused at the thoughts that might have been running through her mind.) The 14 mile trip took about 6 hours. I got myself through it by checking out the cool things in nature that didn't have 8 legs such as this funny lookin caterpillar.

I also found great comfort in singing "Just Around the River Bend" from Pocahontas at the top of my lungs when I thought my dad was out of earshot (unfortunately I only know the line "I look once more Just beyond the river bend, beyond the shore" and so I had to make up my own lines. (ie I hate the trees, they're all out to get me! I've scabbed my knees just trying to escape. Oh look some more, I know that they are hiding out Just around the riverbeeeeeend for me! Coming for me!)) After the 14 miles was up I could barely move my arms, I was exhausted and sore from my waist up (who knew you used more than your arm muscles) Although it may sound like I had a terrible birthday I didn't. I enjoyed the time with my dad and after the sunburn loses it's sting it will turn into a beautiful tan (which will peel off and I will once again be back to an off white color) I got to eat at my favorite restraunt (Posados) and when I got home I fell into bed and slept soundly through the night.I still can't move and my sunburn hurts something awful but it was pretty much worth it. I had a great birthday :) Thanks Dad for the great day and I love you. Happy Mother's day to all the mothers. (who am I kidding my own mother doesn't read this why would any others?)

I LOVE Batman

 

Alright so I've realized that I don't have a post on here dedicated to Batman. I would like to dedicate this post to him, the greatest superhero who ever lived! If you disagree with me then I command you to stop reading my blog becuase you are no longer worthy. I just kind of want to point out a few reasons why he is the best.

~He's human
~He's a billionaire
~He has a LEGIT costume
~He has an even more LEGIT means of transportation
~He is a superhero because he worked hard to become one, he wasn't just "blessed" with powers.
~He has the best villains
~He has a pretty tight video game (which I've beaten ;P)
~He has a cool name
~He has really cool weapons

If you aren't convinced then maybe I can help you to see things my way with my double edged batarang knife. You've been warned.


P.S. I really only put this post on here so I could post the picture above and I didn't want the picture to feel lonely so I added some words.

A Day in the Life of a Cow

So hello there again! I know, I know, you didn't really expect another post so soon, but I feel the need to write something today and I have to kill an hour and a half so I choose to do it here. So this morning I woke up at 5:55am in order to go to seminary. If you read last night's/this morning's post you already know that I didn't get to bed until about 3ish and so I was definately a little bit exhausted this morning. We barely made it to seminary alive this morning (kept nodding off at the wheel)and seminary was uneventful, we had a cool teacher today and I had little control over my neck apparently seeing as how it was really hard to hold up my giant head. Then I came home and immediately fell asleep on my sister's bed (its the most comfortable in the house) I know what you're thinking "this story is REALLY good, I hope this hilarity continues" Well I would just like to point out that I am a TERRIBLE story teller. I don't even know why I have a blog. It could be that I wish I could achieve the fame that Julie did in Julie & Julia(LOVE THAT MOVIE!)or it could also be the fact that I feel slightly more important in the world when I have my very own blog that has the potential to arouse the curiousity of people all over the world (if my story telling does not improve however we can probably rule out both of those) If you know who Nick Swardson is and have heard his stand up there is this one called "had to be there" and that pretty much sums up the story of my life. I'll try and post it, but i'm not quite sure how so don't get your hopes up or anything. So I went off to work at 10. For those of you who don't know I am the Chick-Fil-A cow! In all seriousness that is my actual job. I don't even work at the counter or anything anymore I am solely the cow. I know what you're thinking "that sucks! It's like a thousand degrees in that suit and in the summer it's even hotter!" well you're only a third correct. It is a thousand degrees in there and in the summer it nears a billion degress however I LOVE BEING THE COW! I love handing out balloons to little children, I love dancing like an idiot and not have anyone know that it's me, I love listening to the kids tell me EVERYTHING about their parent's personal lives and all the dirty secrets that you don't want anyone to know but your kid just can't help but tell the world. I just think it is so fun. I don't have to deal with rude customers and when I get too hot I can go sit in the freezer for a bit. I literally get paid to be a little kid (which happens to be easy for me since I can't seem to grow up) I have to go back to work at 5 tonight and be the cow again for another three hours. The split shifts kind of ruin my day but it's kind of worth it on the weekdays. It's not like I ever do anything anyway. Today I had to stay in the back for about an hour because this one little girl would start screaming her head off if she even caught a glimpse of me. That was great...I got paid to sit down it was pretty dang exciting! Little kids are often freaked out by the cow (I don't really blame them..he is kinda huge) but other kids won't leave me the heck alone. I made a new best friend the other day (sorry Sophie) she is 4 and her name is Avery. I know that because she told me a thousand times. She also climbed on my lap and just sat there (I'm not supposed to pick kids up so I couldn't even like lift her off...so i just had to sit there while she kept poking me in the eye and sticking her fingers up the cow's nose) My PS3 didn't come today. I'm sorely disappointed. Well I gotta go get ready to be the cow again. YAY FUN!